--- title: To Feel or Not to Feel? Association vs. Dissociation in NLP & Hypnosis description: What is Metaphors of Movement? This article answers the question what is Metaphors of Movement and dicusses how it can be used by coaches and therapists. image: https://metaphorsofmovement.us/hubfs/To%20Feel%20or%20Not%20to%20Feel%20that%20is%20the%20Question.png --- [Skip to content](https://metaphorsofmovement.us/metaphorsofmovementblog/to-feel-or-not-to-feel-association-vs.-dissociation-in-nlp-hypnosis-change-work#main-content) ![Insta Logos (1)](https://metaphorsofmovement.us/hubfs/Insta%20Logos%20(1).png) - Metaphors of Movement Courses - [Metaphors of Movement Levels 1&2](https://metaphorsofmovement.us/metaphors-of-movement-levels-1-2) - [Metaphors of Movement Levels 4 &5 - Business and Money](https://metaphorsofmovement.us/metaphors-of-movement-levels-4-and-5) - Workshops - [Leveraging Metaphorical Communication for a Change](https://metaphorsofmovement.us/leveraging-metaphorical-communication-for-a-change-landing-page) - [Communicating Identity](https://metaphorsofmovement.us/communicating-identity) - Advanced Development - [Mentoring Plan](https://metaphorsofmovement.us/metaphors-of-movement-mentoring) - [Practice Group](https://metaphorsofmovement.us/metaphors-of-movement-practice-group) - [Blog](https://metaphorsofmovement.us/metaphorsofmovementblog) This is a search field with an auto-suggest feature attached. - There are no suggestions because the search field is empty. # To Feel or Not to Feel? Association vs. Dissociation in NLP & Hypnosis [Dale Turnbull](https://metaphorsofmovement.us/metaphorsofmovementblog/author/dale-turnbull) Aug 7, 2025, 10:14:41 PM   If you've ever wondered *should I connect with my feelings?* or *is it better to detach and stay objective?* this post is for you. Whether you're a coach, therapist, or someone navigating your personal growth journey, understanding when to **feel deeply** and when to **step back** could make all the difference. Today, we’re diving into a fascinating topic at the heart of NLP, hypnotherapy, and emotional change work: A**ssociation vs. Dissociation**. ## 🧭 Understanding the Difference: Association vs. Dissociation In change work, emotional coaching, and NLP or hypnosis practices, knowing whether someone is *associated* or *dissociated* can make all the difference. Here’s a breakdown to clarify both states, how they present, and when to use them effectively. --- ### 🔹 Definition: What is Association? **Association** is when a person experiences an event or memory from a *first-person perspective*. They’re *inside* the scene, seeing through their own eyes, feeling the emotions, and sensing everything as though it’s happening now. #### What It Looks Like: - Describing a memory using *“I”* (e.g., “I was standing in the kitchen…”) - Feeling emotions *in the body* - Vivid sensory engagement (sights, sounds, physical sensations) - Often intense or immersive --- ### 🔸 Definition: What is Dissociation? **Dissociation** is when a person observes an event or memory from an *outside* or *third-person perspective*. They’re not inside the experience emotionally, but watching it, think of it like a detached observer or viewing a movie of it. #### What It Looks Like: - Describing a memory using *“I saw/see myself…”* - Emotions are distant or muted - Often less sensory detail or flattened tone - Increased perspective, but less emotional connection --- ### 🔁 Side-by-Side Example: > 🧠 Imagine a relaxing day at the beach... |   | **Associated** | **Dissociated** | | --- | --- | --- | | **Perspective** | “I’m lying on the warm sand, sun on my skin…” | “I see myself lying on the beach from a distance…” | | **Emotion** | I feel Calm, peaceful, warm | Neutral, observing, not strongly emotional |   --- ## 🧠 Why This Matters in Coaching & Hypnosis Association and dissociation aren't just technical concepts, they determine **how a client processes emotions**, **remembers events**, and **responds to change**. - **Too Associated?** The client may feel *overwhelmed*, flooded by emotion, or stuck in a reactive state. - **Too Dissociated?** They may feel *numb*, disconnected from themselves, and unable to truly process, connect to other or resolve feelings. So being a coach or therapist it is really useful to get a sense of where a client it at.  ## 🧭 The Key Distinction: It’s Not Either/Or Here’s the real twist: We’re *always* associated to *something*. Even when someone is “dissociated,” they’re still *associated to the experience of being dissociated*. Think about it—if you’re numb or emotionally distant, you’re still *in* that state. It’s just a disconnected one. So the question isn’t: **“Should they be associated or dissociated?”** It’s: 👉 **“What are they currently associated to?”** 👉 **“Is this useful for the outcome the client is looking for?”** Sometimes, being dissociated helps us avoid pain, this is exactly how hypnotic anesthesia works. So as a coach or therapist, it's worth considering: **What are the pros and cons of associating or dissociating the client at any given moment?** --- ### 👣 As Coaches, This Is Where We Get Strategic When you’re guiding a client, it’s useful to ask: - **Do I need to connect them to the problem state, just enough, to calibrate it?** So you can spot the shift when it happens? - **Do I want to associate them into a positive state?** So they can *feel* what possibility actually feels like in their body? - **Or is it time to help them dissociate from a negative loop** so they can step back, breathe, and access a more resourceful part of themselves? Sometimes the most powerful thing isn’t “going deep” but *helping someone get some space*. --- ## ⚖️ Comparison: When Each State is Helpful (and When It’s Not) | **State** | **Useful When…** | **Not Useful When…** | | --- | --- | --- | | **Association** | ✅ Calibrating problem states  ✅ Enhancing positive states ✅ Deepening emotional access and awareness | ❌ When emotions are overwhelming ❌ When reliving trauma ❌ When needing logical problem-solving | | **Dissociation** | ✅ Reducing emotional intensity ✅ Gaining perspective and objectivity ✅ Exploring challenging events at a distance | ❌ When avoiding emotions altogether ❌ When stuck in analysis ❌ When healing requires embodied awareness |   ## 🔚 Wrapping It All Together: Feel It, Step Back, Shift It Association and dissociation aren’t right or wrong, they’re *tools*. Powerful ones. They help us shape experience, navigate emotion, and ultimately, support change. In coaching and therapy, knowing when to invite someone *into* an experience, or when to give them space *from* it, can be the difference between progress and overwhelm. As you work with clients (or yourself), keep these questions in mind: - What state is the person currently in? - Is that state serving their desired outcome? - What would happen if we shifted that state—even slightly? Mastering this dance between *feeling fully* and *stepping back with perspective* is at the heart of change work. --- ## 🎯 Try This: Self-Practice for Integration Before you finish reading, take a moment to try this for yourself: 1. **Think of a mildly positive memory,** a moment of calm, joy, or pride. 2. **Step into it fully**. See what you saw, hear what you heard, feel it in your body. 3. Then, **step back**. Watch yourself in that memory like a movie. Notice the shift. Now try the same with a mildly frustrating or stressful memory. Notice how each state, association and dissociation, gives you a different angle on your experience. This is your power as a practitioner or a human: to move fluidly between them. --- ## 💬 Over to You Which state do you tend to lean toward,  association or dissociation? Have you noticed times when shifting between them helped you gain clarity or relief? Drop a comment or share your thoughts, I’d love to hear how this lands for you. 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